Adventures in hugs.

Today we went to the mall to see Clifford and Santa. This did not go the way I envisioned. So instead of going on and on about how I had hoped for a different event I will say what I'm grateful that it has taught me. I am blessed because even though my son was over-stimulated and tuned into his mama being upset with other people, he needed me to feel safe and happy again. It doesn't matter that he did not have any desire to dance along or even sit in the seat. What matters is that by the end of the day he is happy and giggling.

After we left the mall we went to visit daddy. When we got close to his work he started saying Daddy Work! over and over. Seeing his joy when he is with my husband makes all the difference in the world. We are a family and that means we stay beside each other. I have lots to learn and every new experience is a way for us to figure out what we all need to get through the day.

We are so lucky to be with this beautiful boy and that is more important then people not understanding us or him. In fact all we can do is pray for the people who are not as blessed as we are.

Adventures in love

Love is a word that we throw around with not much thought about what it can mean to another person. Loving a a child in the way of being a parent is more overwhelming then any love I have ever felt. Without a shadow of a doubt I love my family and my husband, yet somehow this feels much different. It is truly perfect and terrifying to have this sense of concern, happiness and hope for a little person.

On Friday morning we picked up little guy and drove back home. I think in some ways we were both nervous because we wanted him to be comfortable and enjoy his time home with us. Auntie T called and was ready for us to make it home so that she and Q could come over and meet him for the first time. I hoped the dogs did not drive him insane and that he would like his room. Instantly he burst into the house and was immediately comfortable. He loved his room and the cars stuff that we had picked out from the store with him the Saturday before.

We all settled in and took it pretty easy for the weekend. Playing at the park, going to the store, cooking dinner and all of the normal stuff that a family does. That is when it clicked with me, we were doing the normal stuff. Being a family felt right. Watching my husband respond to someone yelling Daddy to play, melted my heart in a million different ways.

Yesterday we had to take him back in the morning and it about ripped my heart out of my chest. We kept happy faces and did everything possible to make it a happy pass off. Everyone is trying to be encouraging and remind us that he will be home soon. The closest that I can explain is that imagine that you go to the hospital, give birth, spend three day and then are told you need to leave and can come back and do the same in four days. It hurts. We are doing our very to make this transition home to be everything it should and to pace.
Praying for an early move home. Not being a family during the 4 days of the middle of the week is hard, but we are remembering that we are a family.

All of the adventures of catching up!

It seems as though the blog has taken a back seat to all of our new schedules. I will try my best to start from the very beginning. That beginning comes with meeting our son. There are still not appropriate words to explain it all.


Day 1:
We drive and drive and finally arrive to the venue in which we would be meeting V for the first time. As the car pulls up it was hard to even breathe. So many thoughts started racing from what if he doesn't like us to what if I (Brandy) cry like a baby. We met with his FCM and she was just excited as we were to finally have this meeting take place. Then pulls up the car with our son happily in the back seat. It truly was love from sight one. He ran straight to the FCM and had a huge hug. Then they walked over to us and we got to finally see our little guy. Suddenly all of the racing thoughts went away and the world started moving around this amazing human. We all went and chatted for a few moments and then we got to take him off by ourselves. To say that V was loving and responsive feels completely short of how amazingly we all moved with each other. We started reading some books and he kept holding Matt's hand and giggling with me. This day could have gone on forever with no complaints from us. The hour raced by and then it was time to go because V had school. As we were leaving we took our first family photo. There are few things in this world that truly have a ton of importance to me but let me tell you that picture will be treasured.


Day 2: Thankfully we got to go back the second day because day one was a short visit. This was roughly a two hour visit in a play area of a fast food place. V ate like a growing guy and had no problems letting us help him when he needed it. We played and played. As he was crawling around the tunnels with Matt he would just giggle . I went to talk with his foster mom and let Matt have some Dad and V time. She was really great with information that will help us with the transition and just generally stuff about him. I, then learned that during daddy time, Matt thought it was a good idea to teach V to go head first down the slide. I'm going to have to remember to not think about what goes on during dad time. Again, just like the first visit our time ended very quickly and they were off.


There are many ups and downs that come with adopting. While we have been blessed from minute one to work with really great people, it still takes twists and turns. This past Monday we had a visit scheduled but due to some unforeseen conflicts did not get to visit. It is hard to miss the time but we have to be patient that the day is going to come very soon that he will be home forever. This Saturday we will get to spend our first whole day with just the three of us! We are of course a bit nervous because we want it to go well and want to know that we can meet all of us his needs. 


Part of journey in parenting V will be helping him achieve everything that he can go grow and become. Due to the fact that he is moderately verbal it is going to present us with finding many different ways for him and us to communicate. It is scary and exciting. No matter what happens we know that we are going to go through it all together and that this little person is the perfect fit to our family. 


While trying to decide what we need in order to have our lives ready became the decision of what our work schedules are going to mean for V. After many discussions we have decided that I will be staying home. It will mean that we have to be a little bit tighter with finances but honestly it is the best for all of us. I will continue to finish my degree and be able to enjoy the day to day moments with our son. We are really lucky that Matt works with a great company that will be flexible in allowing him to be an active dad. Truly at this moment it feels as though our dreams are really coming true.